Rock of Ages features music from several iconic 80s rock bands such as Def Leppard, Foreigner, Journey, Poison, and Twisted Sister. And that’s just about all it features.
Adam Shankman’s story of a small town girl (Sherrie played by Julianne Hough) meeting a city boy (Drew played by Diego Boneta), while both pursue their musical dreams, isn’t quite a film. The threadbare plot is primarily filled with a love story weaved into countless musical numbers – most of which don’t progress the story at hand.
Based of a Broadway play of the same title, the original Rock of Ages supposedly focused more on the possible closing of the Bourbon, the mecca bar for rock ‘n’ roll located on the Sunset strip.
In the film, Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand play the owners of the beloved rock palace. Unfortunately, every time the story gravitates towards their corner, Shankman quickly shifts back to another inconsequential song and dance routine, ultimately followed by overacting by our leading stars.
The antagonist of the film (I mention this so late because, well, the film often forgets about the conflict) is Catherine Zeta-Jones’ Patricia Whitmore. Whitmore, wife of the mayor played Bryan Cranston, wishes to relinquish the city from rock ‘n’ roll, “cleaning up the streets” for their children. Her whole character is an odd contradiction considering she attempts to abolish rock ‘n’ roll by singing rock ‘n’ roll. Moving on.
Tom Cruise unquestionably plays his best role in years as Stacee Jaxx, a self-destructive worn down rocker who feels imprisoned by both his past and his genre. Malin Akerman as a Rolling Stone journalist and Paul Giamatti as a shady agent representing Jaxx and Drew, both provide some affable performances.
All of this amount to very little though. Put all the brilliant actors you want into the film. If there isn’t a story to be told, then there’s nothing to propel these characters to do anything interesting.
Rock of Ages wholly succeeds as a two hour-long music video. I suspect for many, rehashing 80s rock is enough to compensate the ticket price. However, with so much talent involved, this film should be infinitely better.
Adam Shankman’s 10th film isn’t necessarily a poor piece of work it just isn’t a movie. Most of all, it goes on and on and on.
Rating: 
Rock of Ages (2012)
Cast: Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Director: Adam Shankman
Writer: Allan Loeb, Chris D’Arienzo
Runtime: 123 minutes
Genre: romance, musical, drama
It goes on and on and on and on. Right so. I would like to snatch one of those stars you’ve given it and run away with it. It really doesn’t deserve more than one.
I’ll have to read your review — I’ve heard it’s scathing. Two stars seemed about right in terms of my personal response to the film.
With every review I encounter of this one, the closer I come to deciding I just need to wait for Netflix.
If you’re eager to see it, than it may be worth seeking out. I know Netflix takes forever to put on modern release onto their streaming services.
It sounds like many of the “Musicals” of the 50′s. (Rogers and Hammerstein aside, many others were exactly as you described Rock On. Think I may pass on this a just play a few old R&R tapes!!
The idea of you playing R&R tapes brings me more joy than this film could ever provide.
Given my disdain and disenchantment towards rock music, this film makes me despise it even more. I’m really not a fan of 80s rock w/ a few exceptions. I’m just sick and tired of hearing about it and I really don’t listen to radio anymore as I’m just going through different musical phases right now. Last month it was Spiritualized/Spacemen 3, the month before was King Crimson, this month is Can.
Steve no like the Rock music? It’s all good. I’m not too big of a fan either — especially 80s rock.
It’s always bad when you see a trailer and think, “Did Rob Marshall direct this?” I’ll probably still watch it, but I don’t have high expectations. Thanks for the review, Sam.
If you enjoyed this type of genre rock, than I suspect you will at the very least enjoy the music of the film. I vaguely remember the trailer haha.
Have you heard rock music lately? It’s disgusting and boring. It’s as if nothing has changed in the past 20 years except it’s more slick and overly-dramatic.
I have. And I have been mostly disappointed. The Red Hot Chili Peppers being the exception.
This is an incredibly sanitized vision of the sort of devil-may-care, anarchic spirit we’ve come to associate with rock ‘n roll over the last few decades; nothing about it feels subversive. It’s a toothpaste commercial, though the “I Want to Know What Love Is” sequence breaks out of that mold with Cruise and Akerman singing into each other’s nether regions. If the whole film had been as outrageous as that scene, I think I could have recommended it without much hesitation.
But it’s silly and campy and unapologetic for either, and I think there’s something fun to that. It’s a train wreck, but I had a great time.
By the way, I agree that Cruise is totally phenomenal. I wish he’d been the main character instead of Blandy McBlanderson and Julianne Hough.
The film does occasionally act outrageous, especially between the Baldwin and Brand characters – but it’s too inconsistent.
Cruise would have been a better lead.
Rock of Ages is instant camp crap. I really hope that impressionable children and teens will not consider this music to be heavy metal.
“instant camp crap” … I didn’t detest the film to that level. I still found enjoyment through a lot of the picture.
But I do agree that I hope this doesn’t leave any sort of genre rock impression on children.
Indeed, I felt the same – forgettable and, yeah, I’d support the instant camp crap stance. Tom Cruise and Giametti are strong, making it 2* rather than 1* but it is fatally flawed by weak lead and a weak story. The songs are good … but only because we remember the originals so fondly.
Most of the songs I don’t even remember fondly.